I had a "lucid dream" last night ... one of those dreams in which you're aware that you're dreaming, and can direct the dream so that it goes however you want it to.
Now here's the thing. I've tried to have lucid dreams before, on and off, for a number of years. I never thought they were any sort of pipeline to higher knowledge; it just seemed like a fun thing to do. And I was rarely successful. Most of the time, no matter what I tried to do, I'd end up slipping into a normal (undirected) dream state. I can quite literally count on one hand the number of times I had successfully brought about a lucid dream state, until very recently.
But over the past couple of weeks -- which is how long I've been seriously reading, thinking about, and embracing Satanism -- I've had lucid dreams three times. Effortlessly. None of them have been profound or significant in their content, but just the fact that I've had that many over that short a period is remarkable.
So what does it mean? I don't have the slightest idea. I'm sure there's a connection with my newly found Satanism, but I don't know what. But it's pretty cool.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Why I'm a Satanist
I had been meaning to put up something explaining exactly why I'm a Satanist. I finally put together some thoughts to answer a member of a Yahoo group who asked me what my concept of Satan is, and it addresses a lot of these issues, so with a few minor edits, here's what I said:
I'm 45, started off life as a casual Christian (raised in a family that went to church on Sunday, but didn't worry about it much otherwise). Later, I tried Christianity more seriously, "made a decision for Christ," "was saved," etc., explored it more, and ultimately rejected it. After that, twenty-five years ago, I considered myself an atheist. A few years after leaving Xtianity, I found out about Ayn Rand's Objectivism. I briefly considered myself an Objectivist, but that didn't last very long; while I thought there was a lot of value in many of her ideas (and still think that), I also had some differences with it which were more than trivial.
So, for about the past twenty years, I've just more or less drifted along happily. I'm not the sort of person who is a "joiner," or is always on a "quest for answers." But over the past few years, I've come to believe that there is Evil, with a capital E, operating in the world, but it's also very subtle. How can I say this without writing a book? ... Let me put it this way. Just the fact that people do bad things is not, by itself, proof of a larger force. After all, you can take a bunch of fools, put them together in a room, and while they'll almost certainly come up with something stupid, it's not uncommon for them come up with something that's stupid and wicked. But most of the time, that wickedness is nothing more than the sum of their stupidity, plus perhaps a few lucky guesses. I'm not saying that to bash stupid people; the same goes for those with Mensa-grade minds as well. It's just that with stupid people, the lack of any larger force behind their evil actions is usually easier to see.
But sometimes, the sum of people's acts is more than just the combined total of the acts of the individuals, and something results which has a life and power of its own. For example, I'm thinking of certain cults that thrive by taking the better nature of human beings and perverting it against itself. And I'd have to number Xtianity among those. The superficial and attractive features of Xtianity -- promise of eternal life, a system of ethics which appears to value people being generally nice to each other whenever possible, etc. -- are the "bait" part of a "bait-and-switch" setup. What you see is not what you get. When something like that thrives, and continues to so do through long periods of changing circumstances and evolving secular culture, and does it in a way that renders it immune from criticism (no matter how much one might hack away at it, like the fabled hyrdra it just keeps sprouting new heads) ... and when it exhibits far more subtlely, adaptability, and vigor than anything the original founders could have possibly planned or even anticipated, and yet does all these things while staying true to the fundamental aspects of what the original founders created ... then I have to think that there's some Evil, not just evil, at work -- that is, a supernatural agent working through people, not just people being cunning and bad.
Before I continue, let me say two things. First, I'm not under the delusion that I'm telling people here anything they haven't already figured out. Rather, I'm explaining, in a rather roundabouit way, where I am right now. And second, Christianity is not the only place I see this sort of thing -- I'm mentioning it primarily to clarify certain things about where Satan fits into all of this. As far as the phenomenon of Evil in the world, well, I said I wouldn't write a book ... and even if I were to articulate my thoughts on that, I don't think I've come up with anything yet that's truly that noteworthy, so it would be a waste of perfectly good Internet bytes. Suffice it to say that I was a dedicated atheist and rationalist for a long time, but now accept that supernatural entities exist and are at work in the affairs of human beings. So anyway ...
My prior exposure to Satanism was back in college; one day, while in a friend's dorm room, I picked up a sopy of LaVey's The Satanic Bible and flipped through it. He and a few of his friends were into Satanism, but not seriously -- their goal was just to be as outrageous and shocking as possible. I took it at the value they attached to it; in other words, I regarded it as nothing more than a fad, embraced by those who wanted to be different just for the sake of being different.
A few weeks ago, I stumbled across some material about real Satanism (not the media's portrayal of it). Curious, and remembering what I had read a long time ago, I went further and got a copy of The Satanic Bible and read it. And my immediate, visceral reaction was of things "clicking into place." I don't mean anything like a "religious experience" -- no bright lights, no disembodied voices booming at me, nothing like that. ;) Just ... Yes. This makes sense. This is right. This is for me.
Mere personal revelation? Maybe. But one thing I've learned over my life is, never ignore that voice called "intuition," "gut feelings," etc. I've also learned that when I have that strong a reaction to something, there's usually a good reason. I should also add that, as much of a rationalist as I am, I've had a few experiences over my life which could not be explained as anything other than supernatural; and I'm quite familiar with all the skeptics arguments about such things, I've employed those arguments myself countless times. Those supernatural experiences haven't been many, but they've happened.
I should make clear that I'm not thoroughly committed to LaVeyian Satanism. If my epiphany implies that I should be committed to every particular of that philosophy, 100%, as a zealous, brook-no-arguments true believer, that's not the case. I might end up as part of the Church of Satan, or maybe not. But I think whatever I end up doing, I'll agree much more than disagree with the LeVayians.
Now as far as my personal concept of Satan, that's something I'm still figuring out. Even a few days ago, I would have said that I was still undecided between theistic and athetistic Satanism, but I think now I can comfortably say that I'm a theistic Satanist. One obvious argument for the existence of Satan as an actual being rather than just a social construct comes from the same reasoning I applied earlier to the question of Evil. It's equally true that, over history, there have been things constructed by human hands which have been good, beyond merely the efforts that went into building and maintaining them, and which have had life and power of their own apart from any human efforts. To follow my earlier convention of "Evil" as opposed to "evil," those things have shown the existence and power of Good ... and from whence comes that Good, if not from Satan?
But as far as the nature of Satan, there I'm still sorting things out. Is Satan just a supernatural "force of nature," with no more will and intent than, say, sunlight; a force that we can "tap into" from time to time? Or does Satan an actual entity with a will, intelligence, plans, etc.? Questions like those are what I'm "working on" at the moment.
Paul
I'm 45, started off life as a casual Christian (raised in a family that went to church on Sunday, but didn't worry about it much otherwise). Later, I tried Christianity more seriously, "made a decision for Christ," "was saved," etc., explored it more, and ultimately rejected it. After that, twenty-five years ago, I considered myself an atheist. A few years after leaving Xtianity, I found out about Ayn Rand's Objectivism. I briefly considered myself an Objectivist, but that didn't last very long; while I thought there was a lot of value in many of her ideas (and still think that), I also had some differences with it which were more than trivial.
So, for about the past twenty years, I've just more or less drifted along happily. I'm not the sort of person who is a "joiner," or is always on a "quest for answers." But over the past few years, I've come to believe that there is Evil, with a capital E, operating in the world, but it's also very subtle. How can I say this without writing a book? ... Let me put it this way. Just the fact that people do bad things is not, by itself, proof of a larger force. After all, you can take a bunch of fools, put them together in a room, and while they'll almost certainly come up with something stupid, it's not uncommon for them come up with something that's stupid and wicked. But most of the time, that wickedness is nothing more than the sum of their stupidity, plus perhaps a few lucky guesses. I'm not saying that to bash stupid people; the same goes for those with Mensa-grade minds as well. It's just that with stupid people, the lack of any larger force behind their evil actions is usually easier to see.
But sometimes, the sum of people's acts is more than just the combined total of the acts of the individuals, and something results which has a life and power of its own. For example, I'm thinking of certain cults that thrive by taking the better nature of human beings and perverting it against itself. And I'd have to number Xtianity among those. The superficial and attractive features of Xtianity -- promise of eternal life, a system of ethics which appears to value people being generally nice to each other whenever possible, etc. -- are the "bait" part of a "bait-and-switch" setup. What you see is not what you get. When something like that thrives, and continues to so do through long periods of changing circumstances and evolving secular culture, and does it in a way that renders it immune from criticism (no matter how much one might hack away at it, like the fabled hyrdra it just keeps sprouting new heads) ... and when it exhibits far more subtlely, adaptability, and vigor than anything the original founders could have possibly planned or even anticipated, and yet does all these things while staying true to the fundamental aspects of what the original founders created ... then I have to think that there's some Evil, not just evil, at work -- that is, a supernatural agent working through people, not just people being cunning and bad.
Before I continue, let me say two things. First, I'm not under the delusion that I'm telling people here anything they haven't already figured out. Rather, I'm explaining, in a rather roundabouit way, where I am right now. And second, Christianity is not the only place I see this sort of thing -- I'm mentioning it primarily to clarify certain things about where Satan fits into all of this. As far as the phenomenon of Evil in the world, well, I said I wouldn't write a book ... and even if I were to articulate my thoughts on that, I don't think I've come up with anything yet that's truly that noteworthy, so it would be a waste of perfectly good Internet bytes. Suffice it to say that I was a dedicated atheist and rationalist for a long time, but now accept that supernatural entities exist and are at work in the affairs of human beings. So anyway ...
My prior exposure to Satanism was back in college; one day, while in a friend's dorm room, I picked up a sopy of LaVey's The Satanic Bible and flipped through it. He and a few of his friends were into Satanism, but not seriously -- their goal was just to be as outrageous and shocking as possible. I took it at the value they attached to it; in other words, I regarded it as nothing more than a fad, embraced by those who wanted to be different just for the sake of being different.
A few weeks ago, I stumbled across some material about real Satanism (not the media's portrayal of it). Curious, and remembering what I had read a long time ago, I went further and got a copy of The Satanic Bible and read it. And my immediate, visceral reaction was of things "clicking into place." I don't mean anything like a "religious experience" -- no bright lights, no disembodied voices booming at me, nothing like that. ;) Just ... Yes. This makes sense. This is right. This is for me.
Mere personal revelation? Maybe. But one thing I've learned over my life is, never ignore that voice called "intuition," "gut feelings," etc. I've also learned that when I have that strong a reaction to something, there's usually a good reason. I should also add that, as much of a rationalist as I am, I've had a few experiences over my life which could not be explained as anything other than supernatural; and I'm quite familiar with all the skeptics arguments about such things, I've employed those arguments myself countless times. Those supernatural experiences haven't been many, but they've happened.
I should make clear that I'm not thoroughly committed to LaVeyian Satanism. If my epiphany implies that I should be committed to every particular of that philosophy, 100%, as a zealous, brook-no-arguments true believer, that's not the case. I might end up as part of the Church of Satan, or maybe not. But I think whatever I end up doing, I'll agree much more than disagree with the LeVayians.
Now as far as my personal concept of Satan, that's something I'm still figuring out. Even a few days ago, I would have said that I was still undecided between theistic and athetistic Satanism, but I think now I can comfortably say that I'm a theistic Satanist. One obvious argument for the existence of Satan as an actual being rather than just a social construct comes from the same reasoning I applied earlier to the question of Evil. It's equally true that, over history, there have been things constructed by human hands which have been good, beyond merely the efforts that went into building and maintaining them, and which have had life and power of their own apart from any human efforts. To follow my earlier convention of "Evil" as opposed to "evil," those things have shown the existence and power of Good ... and from whence comes that Good, if not from Satan?
But as far as the nature of Satan, there I'm still sorting things out. Is Satan just a supernatural "force of nature," with no more will and intent than, say, sunlight; a force that we can "tap into" from time to time? Or does Satan an actual entity with a will, intelligence, plans, etc.? Questions like those are what I'm "working on" at the moment.
Paul
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)