Begin at the beginning

Hello, world!

Since this is my first blog entry, I suppose it is only appropriate that I tell you a little about myself. In doing that, I'll also tell you about my reasons for doing this blog, and at the same time lay out some "ground rules."

I've started this blog because I am seriously exploring the idea of becoming a Satanist. I'm going to articulate my thoughts as I read about Satanism and speak with Satanists, and I hope to get comments from those who embrace Satanism or at least have some experience with it that's impartial and more than casual.

Some of you reading this may be shocked already. Of course, there will always be those who consider any presentation of Satan in a positive light to be outrageous. I've made no explicit positive statements about Satan and Satanism yet, but it's also true that the fact that I'm seriously exploring and considering embracing Satanism is, in itself, a tacit endorsement. If you find yourself angered for that reason, read on -- I'll address you in a moment.

But first, I'd like to address those who might be surprised for a different reason. Perhaps your initial reaction is, "hey, that ain't right. This guy's gotta be kidding. I've seen Satanists on the Internet before, and they all fall into two groups: fifteen-year-olds trying to piss off their parents, and adults making money off those teenagers. But this guy can't be serious. His name's 'Paul,' not 'ZpWn Ov LucYferr' or something equally idiotic. He writes in grammatically correct English, and he's fairly articulate. And where the hell is the heavy metal audio clip, blasting out of my PC's speakers at 160 dB? Where are the bloody, disgusting images? Where's Paul's photo of himself, dressed like a dork, staring vacantly into the camera while drool trickles down his chin? WHERE'S THE STUPIDITY?"

"Dude ... 'Paul,' if that really is your name ... you've got a LOT to learn about being a Satanist!!!"

Well, I do have a lot to learn. But if that's your reaction, you have even more to learn about Satanism than I do. It's true that Satanism does attract its share of idiots, but so does Christianity. You wouldn't want all Christians, or even most, to be judged by the actions of Fred Phelps, would you? Well, it's equally true that Satanism and Satanists should not be judged by the actions of some fools. Without getting into it too much -- there will be plenty of opportunity for that later -- let's just say right now that Satanism is the celebration of the self. It's the acceptance and embracing of humanity's "darker" nature; lust, pride, greed, etc. Those things aren't sick, they're normal. They're healthy. And those things do not imply or lead to harmful behavior. He who lusts is not a rapist; he's a sexually healthy person. He who has pride is not a despot; he simply does not allow himself to be abused. He who has greed does not steal; he claims those things that are rightfully his, and works to honestly gain those things he desires.

Oops ... I said I would wait until later to address the folks who were shocked by any sort of a positive representation of Satanism ... but I see I went ahead and addressed them first. Oh well.

Now, as to why this web site doesn't look like it was designed by a cretin. It's that way because this is me. I don't drink blood. I don't dress in weird clothes. I've got multiple degrees, and I'm responsibly employed. I'm more likely to listen to Mozart than to any rock written after about 1985. I don't have long hair, and I don't have any tattoos or piercings. Although I despise the religious right, I vote Republican far more often than Democrat. I smoked pot in college, but haven't touched the stuff since then, nor felt any need to.

If you want to know who I am, don't think of the punk who rides his motorcycle down your street at 3 AM. Don't think of the junior high dropout next door who's got an iron spike jammed through his tongue (ouch!). And don't waste your time looking for needle tracks on my arms; Nazi literature on my bookshelves; or any of the other distinguishing marks of Loser Americanus.

Think instead of the smiling man in the conservative business suit who handles your mortgage at the bank. Think of the guy to whom the other eleven strangers instinctively turn when a dozen people are called upon to be jurors and a foreman must be selected. Think of the guy who's on your local city council; the one who never really campaigns for it, but does the job efficiently and has no trouble being re-elected year after year. Think of the friendly neighbor you wave at as he mows his lawn on a Saturday afternoon.

If you want to know who I am, don't think of Beavis or Butt-Head. Think of Mike Brady, or Cliff Huxtable, or even Ward Cleaver.

Well ... actually those three examples are a little misleading. I'm not married, and don't have children. (Those of you who might be worried about my corrupting little minds can resume breathing normally. And in case you're wondering; no, I'm not gay.) And I'll let you in on a little secret. My name isn't really Paul Davies. That's just the pseudonym I'm using here. You see, I'm savvy enough to realize that anyone in the US who publicly states any sort of sympathy for Satanism had better do a few things to protect himself. So if you're tempted for whatever reason to try to track me down and contact me, or "out" me to my friends and neighbors, or harass me, etc., give it up now. You'll never be able to figure out who I am, at least not unless I allow you to know. I've been around the Internet long enough to know that there are some real creeps out there, and I've also learned to be careful.

In being careful, I'll necessarily have to tell a few lies about myself. But while I'll lie about specific biographical details, I won't lie by implying false things through those details. My profile says I'm 45, and I am indeed 45 years old ... or maybe I'm 44, or 46 ... but I'm not 72 or 27. My name isn't Paul Davies, but that's reasonably close to my real name, I'm content to be addressed by it, and if you inferred from it that I'm an average white guy of English ancestry, you're correct. I'll tell you that I live in a small town in the Bible Belt; I won't tell you which one, but you can rest assured that I don't live in Boston or Minneapolis.

One other thing -- I grew up in a casually Christian household, and was a "Sunday Christian" until I became a young adult. Then, over the course of a few years, I abandoned it completely. But I didn't abandon it without examining it first; such beliefs should not be discarded lightly. I read the Bible, thoroughly. I studied the evidence. I examined the history. I contemplated the nature of existence and of morality. And having done so, I rejected Christianity as a warped and twisted fairy tale. So, a word to Christian proselytizers reading this. Don't waste your time with your usual kindergarten-variety pitches -- "have you ever read John 3:16?" ... "suppose you put a disassembled 747 in a box and shook it?" ... etc. I can promise you, I've already heard 99% of the so-called arguments you think you can throw at me, and I almost certainly know your Bible and your church better than you do.

Sorry about that digression. One unfortunate thing I've learned in my life about Christians is, they just have to try to shove their beliefs down everyone else's throats. So proselytizers, be warned; I won't tolerate you. As for all of the rest of you ... here I am; let's talk.